Yes, this is an April Fools Day news column. Happy reading.
But this news column is actually factual.
Every single quote in this news column is an actual quote from a governmental official or an official government document. (In a few cases, “…” was used to indicate that some wording was left out of the quote.)
Every single photograph is a photograph actually released by governmental entities. The CDC really did create a zombie poster. The Governors of Kansas did actually sign proclamations about zombies.
The U S military did actually produce the CDRUSSTRATCOM CONPLAN 8888-11 COUNTERZOMBIE DOMINANCE OPERATIONS (you know that no one outside of the military would likely use that as a title for a report). The plan from the U S military was designed to avoid naming a specific potential enemy. “Zombies,” for the military, were a stand-in for real-life, unnamed, enemies.
The CDC, FEMA, and DHS (did you notice that the Federal government loves initials) as well as the state and local governmental entities all produced these zombie preparedness programs as part of their efforts to encourage Americans – especially young people – to plan for future disasters. In particular, humor was utilized to encourage Americans to plan for such real-life events as earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, and other natural disasters as well as terrorist attacks and other man-made disasters.
“While the walking dead may not be first on your list of local hazards, zombie preparedness messages and activities have proven to be an effective way of engaging new audiences who may not be familiar with what to do before, during, or after a disaster,” according to the
U S Department of Homeland Security.
So, yes, it’s April 1, 2020. But it isn’t really a fool’s day.
© 2020 Richard McDonough